I'd Be Lost Without You
by shadowsgirl7124
Summary: Sometime Jace can't think and Alec is always there to help him refocus. A Parabatai one shot


"I think I'd be lost without you," Jace said as he clapped Alec on the shoulder, panting. The two had just finished sparring with seraph blades and Alec smirked, sweat shining against his forehead and along his chest. More often than not, Jace and him found themselves shirtless while training. Not even so people would look, just because it was more comfortable that way than sweating in a black shirt.

"Yeah yeah, save it. Lets go again," Alec twisted the dual swords in his hands, rolling them over each other in perfect harmony. Jace rolled his golden eyes and picked up his twin blades breathing hard, their breath in sync just as their heartbeats were. That's what being Parabatai meant, always knowing where the other was going to move before they moved, knowing how they were going to strike before they did, and, most importantly, know how to protect them before their life was really at risk. But the only risk to their lives right now was each other and they both knew neither would purposefully try to hurt the other. Alec moved first, his sword in his right hand snapping out quicker than lightning towards Jace's left shoulder but Jace had anticipated the move and swung up his blade to meet Alec's half way letting loose a loud clanging sound of metal being hit together. Both of their eyes shifted from amusement to challenge and concentration, Jace swung out his blade to Alec's side and Alec stepped back swiftly so the blade swung through the air in front of him. In the half second it took Jace to recover from the miss, Alec had snapped out his leg to catch behind Jace's, sending the younger boy to the ground with a thud. Rolling over in an attempt to regain his balance, Jace crossed his left leg over his right and used his right forearm and left leg to push himself back to standing. Even though he was only down for no more than 5 seconds, he knew Alec was able to put that spar under victory.

"Hand to hand. You were always better with the blades," Jace said, his breath heaving. Alec laughed and nodded, throwing his swords in their own respectable directions and watching Jace do the same. Then Jace was in front of him, swinging a punch to Alec's jaw. Alec raised his forearm and catches the crook of Jace's elbow, the punch a fingers reach away from his face. Jace took that moment as an opening and swung his other hand to punch Alec's gut, the hit landed and Alec doubled over, Jace kneeing Alec under the chin sending his Parabatai falling to the ground. He leapt from where he stood pinning his Parabatai below him, but Alec was fast, he caught Jace and using both his hands, he shoved Jace off him by a sharp push to his shoulders. Jace fumbled for a moment and Alec reversed their positions kneeling above him to hold him down, but Jace swung with his free arm to punch Alec in the jaw, this time a hit. Alec fell off Jace and Jace caught him, shoving him to the ground on his chest. He grabbed his leg, yanking it and eliciting a gasp of pain from Alec which caused him to turn his head triumphantly to Alec to see if he'd given up. That was just the in that Alec needed. He swung over his free leg and kicked Jace across the face, sending the shocked golden hair boy to the ground on his back. Alec rolled and grabbed his arm bending it at an angle that if he added more pressure, would break Jace's wrist. Knowing Jace could iratze it, and knowing Jace knew they played rough in training, he shoved down and heard the break. Jace yelled out in pain, his eyes changing, he couldn't lose to Alec again. Jace grabbed under Alec's arm with his free, non-broken hand, digging his nails in and bringing the black haired boy over his head, Alec hit the ground gasping in pain, Jace rising into a kneel and grabbing Alec's arm, catching it and holding it between his kneeled legs and his body, Alec's fist just below his chin. Jace then wrapped his legs around Alec's arm, and dropped to his back, dragging Alec up by his arm and pulling his shoulder. Alec let out a pained noise as it popped into dislocation and rolled as a last desperate attempt to pull his arm back but Jace's legs that were crossed at the knee to hold Alec's arm in place, crossed around Alec's neck, the older boy contemplated throwing himself forward but knew it would break Jace's spine and didn't feel like that would be appropriate for training. Jace uncrossed his legs and used both of them to shove Alec to the ground, Alec's jaw made sharp contact with the stone ground below them and he knew he'd have a bruise later if he didn't iratze it. Jace still held his arm hostage, sitting up so Alec felt his arm pulled half a pull away from dislocation once again. Alec, grimacing in pain and noting Jace's clear upper hand, hit the ground three times to symbolize surrender. Jace laughed happily and let his Parabatai go, both breathing heavily and covered in bruises and tiny cuts.

"It's good to see you still have it in you, brother," Alec remarked, a smile in his fiery eyes. There was something in his eyes that Jace couldn't place, something was a like to pride.

"Is that pride in your eyes, Mr. Lightwood?" Jace smiled, with each second it widened and grew, the light catching him perfectly. Jace needed Alec's approval because without, he was completely lost. Alec was always the one who he needed more then Alec needed him.

"I believe it is, Jace. I'm always proud of you if you can beat me," Alec replied swiftly and walked to Jace, patting him on the shoulder and about to make his way away. Jace looked at Alec, something in his eyes now. Tears. His eyes followed Alec, yet he didn't and Alec noticed that right away. Alec turned as Jace spoke.

"Alec…" he whispers it softly. Alec goes over and wraps Jace in a hug, Jace hugs him in response. Jace closed his eyes, breathing in Alec. Alec smelled of sandalwood recently, probably do to his boyfriend, Magnus's, influence. But below all that, Alec always smelled like home, like the stable smell of wind and nature. After moments like this, he smelled of the grass and dirt, a smell some would say is peculiar but Jace found comfort in. He found comfort in the way Alec was always stable, always behaved a certain way, always acted a certain way, always looked and smelled the same. There was something perfect about Alec's stability.

"I love you, Jace. Don't forget it. I'll _always _be there for you." Alec murmured and Jace nodded in response. He couldn't trust his voice right now. He'd built his burnt life back up from the ashes on the foundation of the Lightwoods and more specifically, Alec. He felt tears of thanks and appreciation that didn't show nor linger frequently. Alec had kept him alive and breathing throughout everything. Through Hell and high water. There was nothing Alec wouldn't do for him and sometimes that tore Jace up. Alec would die for him and Jace would die for Alec, but it was Alec who was the better half. It was Alec that Jace needed. Alec that kept the pair of them in shape. Alec that motivated him to stay, and Alec that guarded Jace from things that Jace wouldn't have thought to guard himself from. Alec kept Jace grounded and Jace was the luckiest person to have Alec's love.

"This isn't right. I'm always making your life that much harder, adding to the stress level that already exists in this wrecked world. I just push you all the way to the edge and even if you fell off, if _I _made you fall off, you would find a way to climb the mountain. You would do it a thousand times over even though I don't deserve you in the slightest. Not even close," Jace mumbled. "If you ever want out…"

"No. Never. Jace there's nothing I wouldn't do for you even if you don't plan on ever doing anything for me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you because I know how hard it was for you to start at the bottom and have to rework your way to the top. I never want you to feel alone any more, I never want you to have to think that it's you against the world, because it's not. Jace… I do what I do for you because you deserve everything." Alec said, still holding Jace tightly. Jace didn't want to let go, drawing in shaky breaths, tears threatening to overflow his golden eyes.

"Alec… stop it. I just… What did I do to get you as not only a brother but a _parabatai_? You are everything that's good in this world. In my world. Thank you…" Jace replied, softly. His voice barely above a whisper.

"There's nothing to thank me for, I would do absolutely anything for you. I feel like a broken record. I just told you why you wound up with me, you idiot." It was teasing and Jace felt a smile break out on his face. He stepped back from Alec and Alec ruffled his hair, the most big brother thing he could think of doing. "You know, sometimes I forget your my little brother."A wicked smile grows on his lips and Jace rolls his eyes and smiles brighter.

"Don't remind me, big brother." Jace replied teasingly, using what Izzy called him. Alec scrunched up his face and shook his head.

"Don't. That only works when Iz says it." Alec replied and Jace laughed. The two of them smiled, the brightest thing in the world. They were the closest pair of _Parabatai_ to ever exist. They knew things about each other that the other didn't even know about themselves. It made their bond one of the most key milestone bonds in Parabatai history. Jace jogged over and grabbed his and Alec's blades, tossing Alec the blade that Alec caught in perfect synchronization, not even flinching when it came blade first instead of hilt. After getting lost in the thoughts, he restated the words that he said at the start of all this with more certainty.

"I'd definitely be lost without you."


End file.
